Can’t I please kill my self Jesus I can’t do this anymore I can’t.

Si usted no sabe domar demonios no se enamore de una mujer con infiernos.

testigo-de-lo-interminable:

 

(Source: un-escritor-dice)

Thanks! I’m already in the process of filing for divorce.

A long text to my husband

I did I fucking spend 42 hours in the hospital 42 trying to bring him to this world alone you weren’t there supporting me you made me feel like shit the whole time there. You called me a bitch and wasn’t being there for me at all. I was in pain in so much pain. Then he came and I was so happy. I went throught shit in that hospital. It was the worst day of my life, but everything was worth it because of him. I saw him and I started crying because I went through hell, hell alone and he was there, I brought him to this world alone, the love of my life, the one that was gonna love me forever, and not hurt me, or betray me. then the same night I had him i hadn’t slept for 2 days straight, and I only wanted help because you slept all day. I couldn’t sleep I was tired, and I asked for help and you hit me at the hospital hours after delivering him, you hit me while holding him, he didn’t make you stop. You couldn’t even look at him when they handed him to us, you looked at me with hate. When we got home you will go to work, and come back from work, and watch tv and you wouldn’t even looked at him or say “I’m here son I missed you” I had to said something for you to say it. so don’t tell me you care you didn’t. That’s cruelty, that’s pure cruelty. Plus all the shit you did to me in the past hitting me all the time like as if was nothing, when you knew I had problems in my house and I was depressed, after telling you that I felt like no one loved me there, and I was only the black sheep in the family, how I felt like everyone hated me, and how everyone avoided me, so I had to lock myself in my room crying taking pills hoping that everything would stop. You throw me out of a car, cheated, you were texting and looking at other girls in my face, lying about everything. How could you? please open your eyes that’s cruel and heartless. After everything I stood there fucking loving you, giving you chances after chances, going my lowest for you, because I loved you, I was in love with you idk how. I try to make you happy nothing worked. I married you and put all those thing a side, give you a son so maybe he will make you change but no you even hit me while pregnant. Then after my parents put you in jail for the shit you did to me, I felt horrible because of me you went to jail. I felt like shit, I cried every night and I felt lost, what was I suppose to do now with my son by myself? I felt lost but my family never abandoned me and they took care of me and my son and I will be forever thankful for that. I had a roof and food because of them. Your family only had the nerve to come to our own house to disrespect us for putting you in jail, your mom disrespected me and called me names, after everything I went through, she still came and insulted me, and to this day you and your family will keep blaming my family for defending me. I felt like I caused all of this and it was my fault, I beat myself for it and now I was gonna be alone for it. I asked you to forgive me when I didn’t do shit, you were the one that was suppose to apologize. then you told me you were gonna change and that you loved me, and you would do anything for me. Then you met that girl and you started ignoring me, telling me I harassed you, that you where gonna change your number. Made plans with another fucking women to live together while still married to me, because she actually will pay for stuff unlike me. You texted her behind my back and probably still fucking do. You couldn’t spend shit money on us, you haven’t supported us in 3 months. You made me wait for you every night till 7 am to work over time for us, and I never saw that money. You never did anything for us get us a home, nothing, and you still wanted me to work. you have all this fucking money in the bank and none of it was use on us. Now you want to be single, now you buy yourself everything, you have a ps4, a expensive radio, your car has new window shit, you bought yourself toys, and you couldn’t even buy your son an outfit ever since he was born. you get mad because I remind you of child support. that’s cruelty, you are a bad person. You tell me I have problems, that I need to change my attitude if I want to be with you. I don’t have problems, I’m hurt, I’m in pain, it hurts so bad, I’m fucking depressed, I can’t do this, I can’t. I’m tired of being worthless, I’m hurting so bad and that’s my only fucking problem. I have resentment in my fucking heart, and it hurts so fucking bad, you don’t know how I feel, you don’t. I needed someone to be there, to hug me, and tell me that they care. I need someone so bad. I’m going insane with all this pain is too much on me, I can’t bare anymore, but to you I’m an idiot, I need to change because I’m such a bad person, I deserve all this shit. I’ll just drown in my depression and my tears. I just don’t get how you can sleep at night, after everything you did, How can your conscious not process this? How can’t you sleep at night with no remorse? What kind of person are you? I know god will make things right, he will be there and heal me. He will make you feel the pain you made feel, so maybe you’re heart will open up and see that those thing aren’t right. You will feel pain, all the pain I felt, you will know what it felt to be hurt the way you hurt me. God will fix me I know he will because I am important to him and he loves me and he won’t abandoned me. I can’t do this anymore, Goodbye. I won’t go lower then this for you, too much it’s too much and I refuse to let you put me down anymore.

Guys are fucking dumb shits.